Not Everyone Feels Joy This Season, And That’s Okay

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for many people, it can also bring feelings of grief, loneliness, or emotional pain — especially when coping with the loss of a loved one or estrangement from family and friends.

When the world seems focused on happiness and connection, these feelings can feel even heavier. It’s important to recognise that these experiences are valid, and you are not alone.

Why the Holidays Can Intensify These Feelings

Holidays are filled with traditions, memories, and expectations. Empty chairs at the table, familiar routines, or unresolved family relationships can resurface emotions that may have been manageable during the rest of the year. For those who are estranged from loved ones, the season can amplify feelings of isolation or guilt.

Grief also doesn’t follow a timeline. Even years after a loss, certain sights, songs, or celebrations can reopen emotional wounds.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

It’s okay if the holidays don’t feel joyful. You don’t have to force cheerfulness or meet anyone else’s expectations. Allowing yourself to feel sadness, anger, or confusion can be an important part of healing. Emotions are not a sign of weakness — they’re a sign of being human.

Create New Traditions That Feel Right

You may find comfort in creating new, gentler traditions. This could mean spending quiet time alone, volunteering, going for a walk, or celebrating with a small, trusted group of people. Doing what feels meaningful — rather than what feels expected — can help bring a sense of calm and control.

Reach Out for Support

You don’t have to navigate this season alone. Talking to a trusted friend, caregiver, or mental health professional can help ease emotional burdens. Support groups, both in-person and online, can also provide understanding and comfort from others who share similar experiences.

Be Kind to Yourself

Grief and estrangement can be exhausting — emotionally and physically. Prioritise rest, nourish your body, and practice small acts of self-care. Even simple routines, such as staying hydrated or maintaining regular meals, can help support your well-being during difficult times.

The holidays don’t have to look a certain way to be meaningful. If you’re carrying loss or distance in your heart this season, know that your feelings matter. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting — it means finding ways to care for yourself, one moment at a time.